


Tell Me

by lucaspericoos



Category: EXO, EXO-K - Fandom, EXO-M
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, imagine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 04:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7154516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucaspericoos/pseuds/lucaspericoos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which you have writer's block and Kyungsoo imposes a challenge for you to begin writing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

> oh god this is something so special to me ughugugh bc I couldn't write for shit last year and Kyungsoo's SM station track was released last year and this track was my inspo. Bless my squishy penguin.

_Tell me (what is love)._

 

The phrase was scribbled on a Post-it note and stuck against the refrigerator door. I could tell that it was written by Kyungsoo from the neat dainty letters. Footsteps sounded behind me and a pair of arms encircled my waist. “Hello,” Kyungsoo whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck.

 

“What’s this, Soo?” I asked, pointing at the note. “Oh, that’s a new song I’m working on.” He answered. “I love the title. There’s so much potential in it.” I told him as I turned around and smiled at him. “How has your writing been? Got any ideas?” He enquired, smiling back at me. My face fell at the thought of the writing. How could I tell him about the crippling writer’s block I’d been facing?

 

I would sit behind my laptop, staring at the blank document as ideas whirled in my mind. Sometimes I would write some lines but they wouldn’t make sense to me after reading them and I would delete them, trying to redo things. “(Y/N)?” He said tentatively, derailing the train of my thoughts.

 

“Oh…my writing isn’t going that great. I still have writer’s block.” I mumbled as I looked at my feet.

 

Silence followed. “I’ll tell you what.” Kyungsoo broke the silence. “What?” I asked. “What if,” he cleared his throat, “what if you write something for me based on the title of the song I’m writing? I’m still working on it so you won’t really get to listen to it until I’m done. How about you show me your writing when I’m done making my song?” He suggested. Biting my lip, I considered the idea.

 

“Okay.” I agreed. This would be hard but, for Kyungsoo, I’d do anything.

 

+

I looked at the title again – this time scribbled on a pink Post-it with my handwriting and pasted onto the wooden surface of my desk. My laptop was on with an empty Microsoft Word document staring back at me. Ideas flooded my mind every time I let my fingers touch the keyboards but these ideas only stayed in my mind for a fleeting moment. Before I could settle on an idea, they would all zoom past when a new idea bloomed in my mind.

 

A sigh of frustration escaped my lips.

 

“This can’t be happening. Why can’t I _still_ write something? There’s literally something written for me.” I muttered underneath my breath. The title had so much potential but – God help me – nothing seemed right whenever I typed it on the document. I was stuck in the limbo of backspacing and typing up a few lines. Feeling weary, I closed my eyes and massaged my temples. It had been months since I’d written a proper story – one that made people stop what they were doing just so they could finish it.

 

Kyungsoo had always been my #1 fan when it came to my stories. He would read the stories avidly. “I love getting lost in the worlds you create, love.” He’d told me the day before he left for his world tour. We had been lying in bed, trying to make the time go by slowly. For when the morning came, I knew that it would be back to empty beds, grainy video calls with low quality voices crackling through my earphones and back to wishing he were lying next to me.

 

“That’s it,” I murmured. “That’s my story.”

 

With adrenaline and dopamine rushing through me, I typed up the story that was slowly growing in my mind. The words I’d written devoured me completely and made me feel proud as I read the finished product.

 

I’d just have to wait for him to show him what I’d written.

 

+

He returned to our apartment, looking exhausted. Kyungsoo walked over to the living room and plopped onto the couch, bleary eyed. “Are you okay, babe?” I asked gently as I sat down next to him.

 

“I’m just really tired, love.” He gave me a weary smile.

 

“I wrote my story.” I said quietly.

 

This immediately caught his attention and he sat up straight. “Can I read it?” He requested. “No, no… _I’ll_ read it to you. You just lie back and shut your eyes and try to imagine the words I’m telling you.” I told him. Grabbing the laptop from the coffee table, I settled down beside Kyungsoo who had his eyes closed.

 

_Tell me (what is love)._

_To me, love is a tingle. It’s exciting in the beginning. You never know what’s going to happen. One day, you can be jumping from cloud to cloud because someone you loved acknowledged you. However, on the next day, you can sit on the floor with a dark cloud raining over your head._

_When I found you, I wasn’t so sure about whether I could love again. As a teenager, I was a naïve young girl who had her heart broken by the boys she crushed on. While her friends would be dating their crushes, she would be sitting on the sideline, waiting for him to notice her. When I found you, I was far from the naïve girl I used to be. I’d let that naïve girl die when I moved on from my teenage years. You were like a shining beacon I was drawn to the moment I’d walked into the room. When I approached you and waited for you to acknowledge me, I didn’t expect you to fall for me like I fell for you._

_I didn’t expect that I’d have you at hello._

_I remember you asking me one day about why I was always so cautious about our relationship. To be honest, in our early stage, I would wake up every morning, expecting you to leave me or tell me you’ve made a mistake by dating me. I was so insecure with myself._

_My mother always told me that being insecure is a bad thing. That I was only harming myself by being insecure. She wanted me to realize that I_ was _beautiful and that I_ was _deserving of love. I didn’t believe it, really. Until you came along that is. You made me realize that I was worth loving. That I was, if not Miss Universe, your beauty queen._

_There were things you were always so insecure about – like skinship. For the first few months of our relationship, you would only hold my hand. You were scared to take the next step. I remember feeling frustrated but scared that you would leave me if I tried anything impulsive. Then, one day, on one of our hundred something dates, you kissed me._

_I’d only read about kisses in fiction and would wonder if they really felt like the way the author described them. I guess the authors were right. When your lips touched mine, time seemed to slow down and the whole world went silent. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as you placed your soft hands on my jaw and caressed my cheek with your thumb. In my head, I could hear fireworks going off._

_Damn, it was worth the wait._

_Do you remember our first fight? It was a test for the strengthening bond we’d had. You were jealous of me talking too much with your friend Chanyeol. You didn’t like the fact that he was always around me – around us. When you told me you didn’t like me hanging around him, I felt fire burning in my blood._

_Sharp words were passed between the both of us. You were the earth, quaking with anger and leaving behind mass destruction. I was the sea,, drowning cities out with my tsunami of salty tears. At the end of the night, our fires were embers and too much had happened. Even if our fight had ended, I was still angry. The embers were slowly catching fire again._

_“Leave, go. I don’t want to see you again.” Those words had left my mouth as the last of my sobs racked my body._

_You didn’t fight. You didn’t try to comfort me. You only took your things from my room and left. It was only then that I realized the consequences of what had just happened. Tears had stung my eyes anew. I was a hurricane of emotions – sadness, anger and relief. We took a break for three months that year. You focused on your music and I focused on channeling all of my emotions into my writing. Despite the fact that our friend circles had overlapped, we never found ourselves meeting in awkward social situations._

_I would hear of you from friends, from fans and from strangers on the television._

_I would see your face on television with layers of makeup on and what looked like a smile. Chanyeol would tell me that you hid behind the façade of happiness to hide the emotions that lay within you. “He’s always like that. You don’t need to worry.” He’d assured me on the phone one Saturday when I called him up to ask if he wanted brunch._

_You came back to me on a rainy Sunday afternoon. It was a clichéd romantic moment. Raindrops were falling down your cheeks. You looked like you swum in the ocean and forgot about drying yourself off._

_“I need you to listen.” You’d pleaded._

_And I did._

_You sang with that beautiful soulful voice of yours. The song was full of raw emotions that told me a story. It was about a boy who was begging his girl to take him back. The boy in question had realized his mistake. He spoke of how he was scared of losing her. The girl was his everything. She was his first love and he dreamed of a future with her. So would the girl_ please _take him back?_

_When you finished, I stood in the doorway, speechless. I didn’t know what to say. You were looking at me intently, waiting for me to reply. And for the first time in months, the tears that dried up when you left came back again. All I could do was kiss you profusely. I remember the shy grin that lit up your face when you said, “So is that a yes?”_

_So if anyone ever asks me how I define_ love _my answer would be this:_

_It’s the feeling of thrill when you first meet him. Love is when he tells you that you had him at hello. It’s when he understands your insecurities and when you understand his. It’s when you wait for him to come around and kiss you. It’s when you take him back again because you realize you’re meant to be._

_I dedicate this whole essay to you, Do Kyungsoo, for making me realize that I was worthy of love._

_I love you._

When I was done reading the story, silence ensued between the two of us. My stomach was a bundle of nerves as I looked over to Kyungsoo who had opened his eyes and was staring at the ceiling. Slowly, a smile spread on his plump pink lips.

 

“What do you think?” I asked tentatively.

 

He turned to look at me with that smile. “It was beautiful. And god, the raw emotions…I felt them.”

 

Grinning, I placed my head on his shoulder. “Maybe it’s because you experienced them.”

 

“Yeah, maybe it’s me re-experiencing them again.” He sighed. Silence fell between us. I placed the laptop on the coffee table and sat back on the couch, cuddling up to Kyungsoo. His slow breathing and heartbeats soothed me somehow.

 

“How was work?” I broke the deafening quiet.

 

“I was recording the new song with a _sunbaenim_. He told me my vocals were good.” He said, sounding proud.

 

“He isn’t lying.” I smiled. Again, we became quiet. A sudden question formed in my mind but I was scared for some reason. “Would you still come back to me if something like this ever happens again?” I blurted out.

 

Kyungsoo sighed as he adjusted himself so that he was facing me. Gently, he placed his hands on either sides of my cheek and placed a feather light kiss on my lips. “I think if this ever happens again, I would definitely be back. Your arms are what I call home.” He murmured. Smiling, I kissed him back.

 

I’d definitely made the right choice by dating him.


End file.
